One of the more frequent phrases my kids are probably tired of hearing is, “Know better; do better” but I’ve decided it’s going to be my ongoing mantra as we push on through the New Year.

When I was younger and in the trenches of rearing young children, I was fairly young myself and I’d say my parenting skill was more reactive than proactive.

Honestly, most days I was bewildered by the expectations of what it meant to be a parent and terrified by the sheer weight of that responsibility.

I only knew one thing — I loved my kids more than I loved myself and I was determined to be the best parent I could.

Except, I was clueless most days and good intentions don’t always translate to positive action.

So, I trudged through each day on a wing and a prayer, hoping I was doing something right but secretly worried I was burdening my poor kids with a laundry list of therapy needs in their adulthood.

Fast forward to today.

While I would never be so arrogant as to assume I have it all figured out, through my commitment to “Know better; do better” I’ve grown as a parent and as a person, which is a win.

Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way:

1.       There’s a reason the saying, ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’ is surprisingly profound. If we focus too hard on the things that don’t matter, we’ll miss all of the things that do.

2.       Keep as many of those handmade gifts from your children as you can because before you know it, they’re grown, and you’ll miss the art made by little hands and big hearts. There’s a reason our Christmas tree has a decoration we’ve affectionately named, “The Turd” and it always will.

3.       Don’t rely on technology to safeguard your memories. Print and frame the pictures. Someday, they’ll be more precious than you could ever know.

4.       Be willing to listen — you’re not always right. A slice of humble pie doesn’t always go down easily but it nourishes your character.

5.       Take a good, hard look in the mirror. Do you like who, not what, you see? If not, embrace change. Commit to becoming the best version of yourself and every aspect of your life will improve.

6.       When life hands you a challenge, instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” Ask yourself, “What is this teaching me?” and internalize the lesson.

I don’t have it all figured out and I likely never will.

But I think that’s the point of life — there’s always room for improvement, a new lesson to learn, and ways to “Know better; do better.”

As we embrace a fresh new year, I hope together we find ways to seek and find the best versions of ourselves in whatever capacity we are capable.

And with that, Happy New Year!

Kim Van Meter is a former full-time reporter for The Oakdale Leader, The Escalon Times and The Riverbank News; she continues to provide a monthly column. She can be reached at kvanmeter@oakdaleleader.com.